Wednesday, October 15, 2014

"You are all together Beautiful; there is no flaw in you." (Song of Sol. 4:7)

It has been far too long since I have updated everyone on Gracie.  I keep meaning to, and then things come up and I get busy.  Then something happens I want to make sure and post, and I get busy again.  Tonight I am finally making the time. 

These last few months have been a whirlwind.  Gracie had surgery in June, cast removal in July, and brace fitting in September.  She picked out the cutest pattern and colors for her brace, and loves it.  She will wear it until she grows out of it, so she'll have it for a while.  She has healed nicely from the 8-plate being removed, and the tendon transfer has done a great job at keeping her foot flat, instead of turning outward.  We have noticed a LOT of her foot turning in now, which is discouraging...but she is still unstoppable.  With her foot turning in, she drags it a lot when she gets moving, and trips herself multiple times a day.  It's hard to watch, but honestly, most of the time she gets right back up and keeps going.  Every once in a while its a hard fall, and we've had some scrapes and bruises.  We head back to Baltimore for her surgical follow-up the week of Thanksgiving.  This is something we hope to address with Dr. Standard at that time.  As of right now, the game plan is to have some free time for the next year or two, and then fix this issue at the same time of her first lengthening.  As long as the way she is walking isn't going to do any long term damage, then I'm fine waiting.  Its super hard to watch her fall ALL the time...but I'm fine waiting.  I like the idea of surgery free years!

These last couple months have brought huge changes and major answers to prayers and blessing for our family.  We had asked everyone to be praying that our older minivan would sell, that if it was God's will, I would get a PT job, and that we would be able to get a newer minivan when we traded our CRV in at lease end.  IT ALL HAPPENED!!!!!  Plus we qualified for some financial aid for her last surgery at the hospital!  I am now working at Landry's school, in the before and after school care program.  I even get to bring Gracie with me, so she doesn't have to go to daycare.  It is such a huge answer for us.  Financially it does not make everything better, BUT...my amazing husband has been carrying the financial burden for our family alone for the last 2 years, and this gives him a breath and allows some of that weight to come off him...which really, is HUGE for us.  I am so grateful for these last couple months.  Its felt amazing to be in a time of blessing instead of a time of trial!

With this new job has brought some challenges for Gracie and I.  Her foot is much more "public." A group of kids notice it a lot more, ask questions about her brace, and sometimes stare.  It has been hard.  Its good in a sense because she's going to have these issues forever, and now I'm getting a chance to teach her to handle them with confidence, and not embarrassment.  God has been so gentle with me, giving me words to say, allowing me to take a moment, and think before responding...and reminding me that Gracie will react the way I do, so I need to respond how I want her to.  Most of the kids really watch out for her, and have taken a protective role.  A couple have laughed and made a big deal out of her foot.  These kids are young, and the older kids there just tell them its no big deal.  I am honest with what is going on with her, at the level of age I'm talking to.  Usually their questions are innocent and just out of curiosity.  The one time there was any malice to it, I kinda think the kid just didn't know how to respond.  Either way, there have been talks about peoples' differences, and how to respect them.  It has taught me, and it has taught these kids.  The most heart wrenching instance was when Gracie's brace got caught in a chair as she was trying to stand up.  She fell over and put her head down in her lap.  Usually she just gets right back up and moves on.  This time she was embarrassed.  Red faced and all.  The kids around her were incredible!!!!  Before I could even get to her, they were telling her that it was ok, and trying to help her up.  I got there and she practically jumped into my arms and buried her face in my neck.  I wanted to shield her and cry with her.  It was breaking my heart to see her embarrassed.  But...I sat her down, and told her "everyone falls.  It happens to everyone.  Even mommy falls.  It's ok to fall."  And these incredible kids started saying, "yea, I fall too!"  She got down and went back to playing like it was nothing.  They made her feel normal, and I appreciated that so much. 

I think there has been a huge learning curve in Gracie, the kids she encounters at school, and myself.  I am more aware then ever of peoples' differences, and more determined then ever to protect them from being hurt or ashamed of them.  I think this verse just paints a beautiful picture for everyone.  Its hard sometimes to remember that God created you perfectly.  That He loves you no matter what you find embarrassing or others find "different."  But He did.  He made us in HIS image, and He is beautiful and without flaw.  Lets remember this when we see the differences in others.

Prayer Requests:
-We are currently fundraising for Gracie's next trip to Baltimore, (the week of Thanksgiving). Please be praying for the provision for that trip.  We currently have a fundraiser thru Origami Owl going on.  Please check out See Gracie Run Origami Owl Party on facebook, or go to www.seegracierun.origamiowl.com for more information.  As always the PayPal tab is at the top right corner of the blog as well.  If you are unable to donate, or don't feel led to, we would still LOVE your prayers, good thoughts and well wishes!  Those mean so much to us. 

-Gracie's leg turning in is very hard to deal with emotionally for me.  I am struggling watching her fall and bust her lip or scrape her knee because of something wrong with her bones, not because of typical toddler activity.  Prayers that we can find a non-surgical way to alleviate some of the turning when we go to Baltimore, and that our only answer is not just "that's the way its going to be."  I struggle with fear of putting her through all of this and not having a very good functioning leg.  I know it won't be a perfect match to her left leg, or what is typical for kids who do not have FH.  I think I have to fight that assumption in my mind constantly.  It's easy to think with all these surgeries that we are giving her perfection.  It's easy to expect that.  But that is not our reality.  We are trying to give her the highest quality of living, and keep her leg.  That's the goal.  To have two even, working legs as an adult.  With the least amount of residual work and pain possible.  Please be praying for me as I work thru my expectations.

-A month ago, a lady in line at the Starbucks near us paid for our drinks.  She told the barrista that they had been blessed in provision for their son Elliot's upcoming surgery, and wanted to bless us.  She did ask the barrista to pray for her, as the surgery was out of state and they were leaving that day.  I'm not 100% sure on Elliot's condition, but I believe it is some type of leukemia or cancer.  I haven't heard an update on him, and probably won't as we think he will be having treatment for a few months before he returns home.  I was deeply touched by this, because I know personally how hard it can be to be a blessing for others in the midst of trials of your own.  Please be praying for this boy Elliot, and for his family.  Please be praying for complete healing and for God's strength thru this time.  I will update more as I hear it, but he has been heavy on our hearts, and I have such an amazing group of prayer warriors here....I want you all praying too!

I have more to update on, but will try and do another post in a week or two, and add it in there.  I hope you enjoy these pictures!  Landry just had his 6th birthday, (his party was lego themed), and Gracie will be turning 3 on the 29th.  They are growing so fast!!!!  I will try and be more diligent in updating sooner!  As always, please let me know if I can be praying for you!

God Bless!